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News

 

New Year new me. That’s how the saying goes right?

First practiced by the Babylonians in 1750 BC, the new year resolution served the purpose of promising the gods to ‘return borrowed objects  and pay off debts’ (Wikipedia…favorite homework partner since ’01). Personally, this would be great for 2018 because I’m still waiting for that red pen I lent you–you know who you are. Nevertheless, we humans have come a long way and have become much more creative when it comes to writing* out potential lifestyle changes.

*I did say WRITING and not ACHIEVING. They’re two completely different things.

I’d like to take a moment to go back in time and analyse a few things. This is what my list looked like on January 1st 2017:

  1. Lose 5kg and get abs
  2. Pass INSA 1st year
  3. Quit Drinking
  4. Quit Smoking
  5. Help others

In December 2017, after conducting multiple TPs on my tummy, I can confidently tell you that the abs are absent. But hey, at least I can feel them when I press through my belly button. The only thing I earned with this resoltuion is an extra 10 kg to shred for 2018.

Do I drink you ask? I most unfortunately do and I have suffered many of alcohol’s unwanted side effects. However, I’ve had plenty of time to get over the sensation of failure as I had already broken the resolution at a welcome back to INSA party**. At the time, I wasn’t aware those things even existed.

**Proudly organised last minute by the SCAN 1st 2016-2017

“Help others” was one of my favorite new year resolutions. I purposely left it broad without any extra specifications for convenience’s sake. This way helping my biz prepare for her Conception DS falls under the same category as waiting for classmates at the RI’s metal fence so we can all cut the line.

I wanted to make sure that I achieved at least on of my resolutions so I could boost my personal statistics. Quit smoking seemed like an easy one to achieve as I never started. Now I can comfortably stay put in a chemistry lab and enjoy the sight of Muhammad asking the professor for a 5 minute pause every hour.

Lastly, getting through my 1st year was probably the hardest and only resolution I’ve ever succeeded. However, I achieved it with lots of help from my peers around me so I guess it doesn’t really count. I know passing 2nd year is going straight on my 2018 list.

You see. Even I’m disappointed in myself and I assure you I don’t have very high standards. The text above is full of excuses and I’m not taking enough responsib…gosh I sound like my mom.  Even though I should keep this type of information hidden from you, did you know that only 8% of people achieve their resolutions? How sad is that? I mean, of course I feel so much better that 92% of the people around me that wrote their resolution lists on New Year’s Eve didn’t make it either. But that one guy that made it. I’m internally jealous. He’s the one getting 300+ likes on Insta with his new abs…not me 🙁 .

Anywho, what I want for 2018 is that you and I both succeed in every single resolution we set ourselves to meet. Tell yourself that you already have what it takes to be part of those 8% just by being here at INSA. In case you haven’t connected the dots, you were chosen to make up a promotion of 800-1000 out of 15,000-16,000 applicants. You’ve already been in the 5-6%. You know what it takes and have it in you.

Remember. Cupcakes are muffins that believed in miracles.

Article Written by: Paul BRET

 

PROFILERésultat de recherche d'images pour "claire's pink glitter backpack"

Name: Marcel Le Sac

Also Known As: THE WISC MASTERPIECE

Date of birth: September 16, 2017

Hometown: Lyon

Studies at: INSA Lyon

Places Lived:

  • Claire’s – la Part Dieu
  • Residence A and B

Places Travelled To:

  • Amsterdam
  • Munich
  • Portugal

Family Members: SCAN family

Life Events: 

  • WISC
  • WEI

Favorite Quote: “Don’t be afraid to sparkle”

Social Media:

     Follow Marcel on instagram:

     https://www.instagram.com/marcellesac/

More About Marcel Le Sac

By Salomé and Juliette

17 days 12 hours 22 minutes 13 seconds before Santa comes visiting. Admit it. You’ve also been counting.

Meanwhile, before the big man arrives, there’s this other person that has a gift with your name on it. You’ve all already been randomly handpicked by your peers to participate in the annual SCAN Secret Santa event that will be held on 11/12/2017 at the Flam’s. I hold all the names in a classified document that I must refrain from disclosing to you. All I can say is, some of you are in for quite a surprise.

Personally, I’m really looking forward to Secret Santa as they always trigger different emotions in people—sometimes unexpected ones! These feelings all depend on the gift one gets.

Here are the different types of people you get

1. The “sick” guy

As a person that really likes receiving presents, I really hope this guy isn’t your secret santa. As presents are being exchanged, Ambre takes out her SCAN contact book and gives him a call. He claims he’s sick even though we all saw him in class in the morning perfectly fine. What he meant was: I forgot your present.

2. The passive aggressive person.

This person clearly didn’t appreciate the gift given to her. I say her because girls are born naturals when it comes to passive aggressiveness. If you’re the secret santa of this individual you better be prepared for some heavy eye rolling and eye fixing on you throughout the night.

3. The clueless dude.

What can I say to make you feel better? Well, at least he gave you something! It doesn’t matter whether or not he knew your name or who you were. At least those unisex socks look comfy for the winter.

4. The “I bought you chocolate” individual

Chocolate. Appreciated by the majority of people. However, it is a clear sign of lack of imagination and creativity. You know perfectly well that they gave up after 30 seconds brainstorming what to get you. It’s too bad they didn’t know I was lactose intolerant.

5. The showoff

I just want this guy to shut it about how much better his gift is compared to mine. His comments actually hurt my feelings because deep down I’m secretly jealous. I comfort myself with the fact that I’m not the only one in the room that feels this way.

6. The gossip

Thank you. I didn’t try so hard avoiding rumors and covering my ears whenever people were talking about secret santa just to have the name of MY secret santa screamed in my face as soon as I opened the Flam’s door. What’s that? The person my gift is for knows it’s me? Great.

7. The one who’s here just for the pizza

This special individual is one you’ve only spoken to twice in your life and both times it was because you were assigned a group project together. First to order and first to leave, he has no time to waste talking to other human beings and prefers the more than sufficient company of pizza.

8. The perfect present human

Most likely your best friend. You’re lucky he/she picked out your name and thank God you mentioned you wanted that new iPhone X to him/her beforehand. The present’s not an iPhone but it’s just as perfect. It’s too good to be true. A Donald Trump wig and cap #lapetrellade. Luv it.

9. “Antoine va nous danser…”

Enough said. *proceeds undressing*

 

 

Hopefully you’ll be one of the nicer options that day. Nevertheless, 100 SCAN students in a restaurant will be anything but boring and uneventful. I’ll see you there personally at 7PM sharp. Bisous :*

Article written by

Paul BRET

SCAN 72

Drawing : Léa Rinino

“How to take a test like an Asian”. Personally, I never thought I’d end up typing this on my Google search bar. You must think I’m feeling a bit too desperate to be initiating such profound research or you may feel that I’m looking in the wrong place for my answers.

Let me stop you right there.

Kidshealth.org, testakingtips.com, collegeinfogeek.com, prepscholar.com, wikihow.com, yahooanswers.com, and how-to-get-into-harvard.com have all been meticulously analysed and are all neatly tidied in my history tab. Don’t get me wrong, these websites do contain some helpful information but none are, so to speak, “INSA-worthy” and here’s why:

1. Analyse how you did on a similar test in the past.  

I’m sorry, but this sweet human being is clearly unaware that I’ve done EVERY SINGLE previous test on the SAME subject since 1974…(Kindly made available to you by the Scan the Web Team (; ).  Yet, INSA continues its pursuit of making me cluelessly stare at my test paper. Okay, okay, you got me. I admit I might have been taking repetitive sneak peeks at Laura’s test corrections while I was studying.

2. Read the test through first. 

(To be read along with a heavily sarcastic voice:) Well that worked out just fine on my Mechanics test didn’t it? It’s as if “they” had visited the exact same website I got this tip from and said: “Let’s help our students with that by adding endless text of information along with diagrams that can only be understood by indepth vision into space.” Easy right?

3. Focus on addressing each question individually 

Exercise 1  (11 pts)

Question 1: Easy I got this.

Question 2: Okay there’s no way what I wrote is correct.

Question 3: “Using question 2, please find…” (Heartbeat stops)

Question 4: Can’t do that.

Question 5: Can’t do that either.

Question 11: *skips to exercise 2*

Exercise 2 (9 pts)   *Mental math*: 1 + 9 = 10. There’s still hope.

Question 1: “Recall Question 2 of Exercise 1…..F&àc@k!!!

4. Build a succinct and organised cheat sheet when authorised.

Most of my classmates will tell you that I always have really pretty cheat sheets. Proper Highlighting and lovely color coding all on point. I also take great pride in stating that my handwriting can go as small as font 9 and that I will fit you a whole thermodynamics chapter into half a page. Nevertheless, my encyclopedia-like doctrine is no match  against ancient professor sorcery and contains little to no helpful information.

5. Form study groups. 

I saved my personal favorite for last.

Study Buddies. Check. Study Room. Check. Snacks. Check. It’s 14:00. By this point everyone is looking good.  People are sitting behind their MacBooks, taking notes on writing pads with matching pens with their coffee mugs on the side, and everyone’s wearing those smart glasses. We’re all looking real sharp and ready to reach new dimensions in our educational journey. It’s 14:05, people are either solving Taylor expansions or discussing face-centered cubic crystal systems. 14:15. Snack packages have started to open but focus is still there. 14:20. The first non-study related subject is spoken out loud. Of course, you expected it from THAT guy and you’re quick on your feet to prevent him from going any further into the potentially distracting subject. 14:30. Havoc is unleashed. You were unable to stop THAT guy from speaking and now everyone’s gossipping. On the one side of the table everybody is wrecking the Beurk’s menu. On your opposing side their already planning what they’re going to do during the weekend. And you, well, as you watch the scene unfold you are determined to prevent from acting foolishly so you look back at your computer screen just to realise you were watching cat videos on facebook this whole time #Pujol. You quickly recover your spirits and close the tab. But then, someone taps you on the shoulder, and says, “OMG, I know something that I’m not supposed to talk about but I’ll tell you if you agree to keep it a secret okay?”

You can’t resist that can you?

 

All in all, if you want to do well on tests well…you’re reading the wrong article. But don’t lose hope! Comfort yourself with the fact that even I’m still here. Believing in yourself is all you need.

Article by Paul BRET                                                                                                                                                              SCAN 72